Today our youngest child turned 5… and it’s 9.5 years since we first became parents.
After almost a decade of parenthood, I can say that the belly laughs have been more infectious, the snuggles sweeter and the protective mama bear love far more ferocious and powerful than I ever imagined. I love being a mum.
However, parenthood has cost me more than I ever thought it would. There’s the obvious – sleep, money, freedom; and the more surprising; the ability to go a couple of hours without needing to wee, a significant friendship which couldn’t cope with the strain of me prioritising our children, and any illusion that I’m in control of my life.
I love our children deeply, and it’s because of that, that I’ve found myself doing daring, risky things – like teaching each of them to read myself, even though I’m dyslexic. Like writing a letter of complaint to the swimming teacher who made my son cry, even though I abhor confrontation. Like supporting our children to learn the ski – despite the many tantrums, anger directed my way, and even a broken pair of glasses.
Yes, parenthood has been full of struggle, conflict and taking me out of my comfort zone. In short, it’s been a matter of dying to myself daily.
That “dying” has not been done perfectly or gracefully by any means – there’s been many harsh words and tears, and too much self-justification rather than repentance and faith.
Parenting is hard.
Parenting sinners is hard.
Parenting sinners as a sinful parent is hard.
Parenting sinners as a sinful parent when there are a million different pressures on your adult shoulders that your kids are oblivious to (financial, relational, pastoral, health etc) is mega hard.
So, it’s easy to grow weary in doing good.
A number of years ago when we were in the throes of parenting infants, and the throes of church planting I was enormously comforted by this verse:
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Galatians 6:9
I wrote it up on our chalkboard and I would glance at it when I was tempted to have a bad attitude about cooking and cleaning for our church life group, while cajoling small children into eating their lunch. I was encouraged by the promise. I wanted to see the harvest.
I was tired and overwhelmed, but I was young and zealous and I wanted to see the harvest – in church life, in our family. I wanted to see the harvest and so I carried on working hard, I didn’t give up.
Fast forward a few years and we live through a pandemic, personal and ministry tragedies and I go through a season of depression.
It’s hard not to grow weary in doing good and it’s all the harder if we don’t see a harvest for our labour. Whether in parenting or elsewhere in life.
But a new passage has enriched my understanding of Galatians 6:9 and transformed my thinking on it.
27 Why do you complain, Jacob?
Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord;
my cause is disregarded by my God”?
28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:27-31
God does not grow weary – and he gives us the ability to not grow weary either.
I love how candid the Bible is – Israel are complaining, they feel like God doesn’t see them, that their pain and “cause” is hidden from him. Why isn’t God answering their prayers?
But Isaiah zooms out from their circumstances and reminds them who God is – the eternal, everlasting God, the mighty creator of all things, the unfathomable, infinitely wise God. And guess what? – that God does not grow weary.
Not only does he not grow weary or tired, but he gives strength to the weary who hope in him (notice it doesn’t say hope in themselves). This is grace, not self-help.
HE gives strength to the weary, HE increases the power of the weak. And once he does this – the recipients renew their strength, soar on wings like eagles, run and don’t grow weary, walk and do not faint.
It is him alone who can make the weary unweary.
Let me tell you something, no amount of wine and Netflix, time away from the children or a sabbatical from church can give rest to your weary soul. Don’t believe me? Scott and I went away on a spa break at the beginning of December – it was amazing. I’m very thankful for the opportunity to do it – but it did not bring rest to my weary soul. A jacuzzi is a good gift from God but it cannot give your soul the serenity that it longs for. I was disappointed to be honest – I thought it might do the trick and help me feel less harassed!
But only Jesus can do that, and he is willing to do it daily, hourly, minutely – as often as I need, as often as you need. The everlasting God is able and willing to renew your strength so that you will not grow weary in doing good – if only you’d ask him to.
So what is it for you? Are you tempted to stop going to church, because it’s never been the same since covid? Or tempted to neglect your family devotions because there’s too much on, and the kids never seem to pay attention anyway? Or are you busily serving him in many ways; but inwardly resentful, discouraged and weary?
Then this offer is for you.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Jesus Christ