Christian parenting looks different in different countries, cultures and contexts. Here we get some insights from our dear friends Cait and Joel Kady who live in New York City. Joel works for Redeemer Presbyterian Church (Tim Keller’s church) where he works with community groups for Redeemer Westside, and is attending Reformed Theological Seminary’s New York campus. Cait is a stay-at-home Mom for their three young children – aged 5, 3 and 1.
Where do you live and what’s it like?
We live in upper Manhattan, NewYork City. It’s a slightly calmer neighborhood but still very much the city and only a subway ride away from the typical, touristy, or busier parts of NewYork. It’s exciting, with a lot of opportunities, but challenging to get around with kids, take strollers on the subway, do laundry in the apartment basement, or get enough time in nature when it takes more effort (though it is there!).
What are some of the challenges and opportunities that you face in Christian parenting because of your context?
We were very much influenced by Tim Keller’s ministry before moving to NewYork, and appreciated his perspective on raising kids here and on how God views cities. It’s wonderful to be in a place where there are so many people – even though that can feel like a drawback at times! People are the most beautiful thing that God has created, and beloved by him. There is also concentrated opportunity for ministry and culture formation when there is just so much happening. With our kids, it can be hard to have them exposed to difficult subjects at a young age, but we see that also as a positive thing to talk through with them from a biblical perspective in real life, not just hypothetically. It can make God and his ethics much more real to them as they get older and know their parents are not clueless about the world because they have been encountering it together. Being around people very different from me has been a huge blessing, challenge, and learning curve which will hopefully benefit my parenting as well.
What do you do to encourage your children to love Jesus?
We are always growing and trying to be better stewards of our time with our little ones. Right now we pray and read Bible stories together, and are trying to make singing and memorizing God’s word a part of our routine as well. Conflict is an opportunity to point them to Christ and teach them about forgiveness and their need. Our personal choice of homeschooling this next year has us excited about the chance to create lifegiving routines at home and the flexibility to explore the city and read beautiful books full of truth. The biggest thing for me right now has been personal growth, knowing that what I model, not what we teach, will have the biggest impact on them.
We hope you enjoyed this latest post in our series “Global Insights” where we hear from Christian parents from all over the world. It’s so encouraging to hear how different believers are parenting their children in contexts very different from our own.
We’d love you to consider contributing to this series – whether you live in the Highlands of Scotland, the Cape of Good Hope or the Gold Coast. Please take 5 minutes to fill in the form below to let our readers be encouraged by you.
Here is the next installment in our Global Insights series. In this series we hear from other parents, learning about how the context in which they live impacts their Christian parenting. So far we’ve learnt about parenting in the Middle East and South Sudan. In this post, we hear from Christian blogger Rachel Ridler who tells us about her experience of parenting in the North of England.
Where do you live and what’s it like?
I live in a town called Mexborough which is just on the edge of Doncaster in South Yorkshire. It is an ex-mining area so its not really the most aspirational of places, but I love the honesty of people around here when you get to know them. People really are quite caring in Yorkshire.
What are some of the challenges and opportunities that you face in Christian parenting because of your context?
The biggest challenge I face is that being a “proper Christian” really is being the odd one out round here. When I tell people that my husband works for a church, they are shocked. I even got asked to come in to nursery to teach the kids about Easter, as they had never had a practicing Christian parent before! I have to make sure I am proactive in teaching my sons about God in our home so that they can take that out into the world. I was very proud to hear that my eldest had been telling the nursery the nativity story, even that their nativity story book wasn’t good enough and he was going to bring a proper one in from home!
There are many opportunities though, as most people don’t know what it truly means to love God. I find it easy to make relationships with other mums round here, and they all know that I am “religious”. Again, I am the odd one out but in a good way and I have plenty of opportunities to love people.
What do you do to encourage your children to love Jesus?
We try to have some God-time everyday, whether that be listening to praise music, praying before bed or reading bible stories. We love using the Godventure materials and tried doing 40acts together last lent using the sticker chart. I think most importantly though is that we model how to love Jesus in our own lives, through generosity to others, through being part of a church family and through worship in our own home. Our sons see that and it is amazing to see them start to pick up on that. My eldest is already very generous with his friends because that is what we are like and I hope that spirit grows and grows. We are currently tackling the subject of prayer so any tips on how to do that appreciated!!
Rachel blogs at Rachel Ridler: Mum on a Mission, where she writes about her faith and parenting. It’s encouraging for us to read blog posts from other British Christian parents. Follow her on facebook here.
We’d also love to hear from you! Where do you live and how does your cultural context impact your Christian parenting? If you’d like to participate in this series then please fill in the form below.
We thought it would be fascinating to hear about how people parent their children in different contexts, countries and cultures. Gospel-centred parenting will in some ways look very similar across the world, but in other ways it will look extraordinarily different. Click here to read an introduction to the series.
Thrillingly, we’ve had two different families get in touch to tell us about their experience of parenting in the Middle East, so we’ve included both in this post.
So without further ado let me introduce you to Jo Chee, a British expat, mum of four and Christian blogger.
Where do you live and what’s it like?
We’ve spent the last seven years of our life in a crowded city of over 20 million in the Middle East. Our mornings begin with the call to prayer from several surrounding mosques, none of which are synchronised or in tune! During the Muslim sacrifice month, the field in front of our apartment becomes a holding place for thousands of sheep and cows. On the day of sacrifice we’re not sure whether to watch in repulsed fascination or hide away behind the curtains, as one animal after another is slaughtered and the field fills with blood.
On the streets women walk hand-in-hand, one covered from head-to-foot, the other wearing a mini-skirt. It is a city of contrasts. West meets East. Beautiful history and stunning buildings on the water’s edge. Apartment blocks so close together that the sky is blocked. This is our home! Three of our children thrive here. One doesn’t.
What are some of the challenges and opportunities that you face in Christian parenting because of your context? What do you do to encourage your children to love Jesus?
In many ways, Christian parenting is the same here as anywhere. There are struggles, there are joys.
We have good intentions of having regular devotions with our kids. We begin, or sometimes don’t even begin, then very quickly our times together fizzle out. We sometimes have family worship instead of going to church (because we need a break from church in a foreign language). This works well when the kids are little. They love to sing and jump around. Fast forward a few years, and our teens feel somewhat uncomfortable singing along with Mum and Dad!
We feel on our own a lot. The first few years, we do not have families with kids our age to compare notes with. We learn by ourselves how to navigate this thing called parenting. We are often tired, not just normal ‘parenting tired’, but tired of trying to get by in a different language and a different culture. Just shopping for food can be overwhelming. It doesn’t leave much energy left for coming up with great parenting strategies!
Living here, we have seen and heard sad stories of kids messed up, just because their parents were too busy serving. We are blessed. If anything, our time here in a foreign land has been more about being family than reaching others. We have done both. But if God only brought us here to be a family, then that’s a great thing, and it has happened. Our kids have caught something of our heart to reach the lost. We have been on an adventure together. Shared experiences of living in a foreign culture have knit us closer.
We’ve had tough times too. Loneliness. Frustrations. One of the hardest parenting challenges has been walking alongside our son as he’s battled through low times and feeling like he doesn’t fit. This could have happened anywhere, but here it is compounded by the spiritual atmosphere, subtle but heavy. This son is our sensitive one. He picks up on what affects so many of the people living here. In trying to support him, I came to an end of myself. I share my story here: I Can’t Carry My Children Anymore: All About Letting Go and Letting God (http://mumskidsjesus.com/cant-carry-children-end-of-myself-letting-go-letting-god/)
My husband and I are relaxed parents. Sometimes maybe just a bit too much! We cannot force our kids to love or follow Jesus. We have mostly lived our faith and let our kids see Jesus in our lives. They’ve come with us to church when police stand patrol outside the door because of bombing threats, they’ve heard testimonies from locals who have come to Jesus through dreams and visions, they’ve seen the needless sacrifice of animals each year. Most importantly, they have come to understand the preciousness of Jesus’ sacrifice, that was ONCE and for ALL.
We love this country and all it’s been to us. We don’t know if our parenting would have been different elsewhere. One thing we’ve learnt: parenting is love. It’s about being family together, where ever you are. It’s about enjoying each other, knowing there’s a place to call home that is full of joy and laughter.
End note: We have recently relocated back to the UK, and are slowly adapting back to British life – a whole new challenge in itself! Wonderful news, that we praise God for: our son who struggled is a new child. He loves being ‘home’, is making great friends and is really happy for the first time in years. Our other children are finding it difficult being back, but we see God’s hand on them. It will take time, and again we want to build a home that is full of love, a place where they feel secure in all the change.
We also heard from Sarah,* a British expat living in a different Arab country in the Middle East. In the country where she lives, non-Muslim expats are given permission to practice their faith privately, so long as they don’t proselyte, but it is illegal for local people to hold any faith but Islam.
Sarah is a mum to a 6 year old son.
Where do you live and what’s it like?
A middle eastern country. It’s amazingly different… brilliant weather, deeply Muslim, very other!!!
What are some of the challenges and opportunities that you face in Christian parenting because of your context?
Wanting to share my heart for others to know Jesus with our son, but in a deeply Muslim context. Wanting him to share our faith with others, but not wanting him to share about how and where we collectively worship.
Having conversations with him, about Islam and eternity, but having to trust that the Holy Spirit will moderate any typical 6 year old conversation.
What do you do to encourage your children to love Jesus?
We try and live our lives in a way that brings glory to Him, we try and talk about our relationship with God as naturally as possible, and ascribe God a central place in our home. We try to love our son as unconditionally as possible, as we believe parental wounding turns many young people away from a walk with God.
We pray, we teach our son to pray.
We homeschool, with a missions outlook.
* Name has been changed to protect her identity
It’s fascinating isn’t it?!
Where we live in the UK there is a lot of apathy to religion; that presents very different challenges and opportunities to living in a deeply religious country. We hope that this series will help us to have a greater heart for the global church. We also hope learning from other believers will help us to analyse our own contexts, so that we’re able to see with fresh eyes the opportunities and challenges facing us and our children, as we seek to live for Jesus where he’s placed us.
Perhaps you could take part in our series? We’d love to hear about how you parent in your particular context. Whether that’s in a rural village in France, a bustling cosmopolitan city in Australia, a council estate in Grimsby or somewhere else entirely. We’d love to hear from you. Fill in the form below to let us know your thoughts about parenting in your context:
We’ve been hugely encouraged by how the Gospel-Centered Parenting community has grown in 2016. We’ve loved connecting with friends old and new and we’ve enjoyed hearing about other people’s parenting experiences as we’ve shared ours. It’s encouraging realising that we’re not the only ones wrestling with this stuff – we’re not the only ones trying to share Jesus with our kids, and we’re not the only ones who are loving it, exhausted and learning-on-the go!
So we’ve had an idea…
Why don’t we share our experiences of gospel-centred parenting in our different contexts?
We’ve been really excited to see that we have readers from all over the world (bar South America – we’re still to break into that continent!) We would love to hear other voices and glean wisdom from others about what it looks like for you to parent your children in the context God’s placed you in.
We’re interested in finding out the following things:
Where do you live and what’s it like?
What are some of the challenges and opportunities that you face in Christian parenting because of your context? (This could be secularism, over-familiarity with Christianity, living in a country where Christianity is a minority faith or suppressed… anything really.)
What do you do to encourage your children to love Jesus?
For each of these questions there are all sorts of different avenues you could go down – feel free to pick one that’s on your heart and let us know your answer.
In an early post of ours, “What is Christian Parenting?” we discussed how Christian parenting can be expressed in very different ways in different contexts, but ultimately is all about pointing our children to Jesus in word and deed.
It will be really interesting to read about how people in other cultures teach their kids about God in everyday life.
We’d love to hear from you!
If you’d like to take part in this series then please just fill in the form below. You can participate even if you live in a country where it’s not possible to speak openly about your faith – you can just tell us which region of the world you live in, (e.g. “Middle East” or “Southeast Asia”), rather than your country or city.
